Indian Festivals: Things you didn't know

When a school-kid commented “al quedea,,,,,,,,,i mean sanjaya,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahahaha” in the TMZ site for the allegedly hilarious Sanjaya’s Bill Vendall spoof, I did not laugh. But a little bit scroll down and I got the most amusing and interesting comment which by the way was the reply for the above ‘supposedly’ moronic comment. Here the girl said

You're an absolute idiot. You don't (know) the difference between an Indian and an Arab.

I could care less that you're trying to rip on Sanjaya, but I'm floored that you don't know the difference between countries of origin, and ethnicities and religions/cultures.

Here's a clue: Indians -- from country of India -- are NOT Arabs and their religion is Buddhist or Christian; they are not Muslim. The country of India, and it's people, are one of the most, if not the most, peaceful country in this world; No Indian has ever been a "terrorist".

Actually she posted few more times with lot more ‘stronger’ arguments as to why Indians – whose religion are Buddhist and Christian – are not ‘terrorists”. Nice job girl!!! Any chance you live in Chicagoland?

Anyway….

Now, I was about to unlock my gun on my proud Indian shoulder to fire a hose-full black lava of venoms on American school system as to how ignorant they can be and how ill-informed the school children might be, suddenly I looked into the Indian government website (and consequently put down my gun).

There she is. I mean my India and her official website. Divided the greetings card section – only fun section for school kids obviously – into four categories – Celebrations, Heritage, Festivals and Glimpses of India. Festivals are listed top to down like this:

Christmas
Good Friday
Eid
Diwali
Holi
Durga Puja
Ram Navami
Gurpurab
Ganesh Chaturthi
Raksha Bandhan
Makar Sankranti
Buddha Purnima
Pongal
Rath Jatra

I tried - even with closing my eyes like one Mr. Gandhi told us to do; even with gulping five pegs of vodka over apple pucker and then red bull - not to read between the lines, yet my dumb eyes got stuck there.

Now to display a list of more than one entities of same kind, one has to sort it. So as is the case with Indian festivals – let’s take Indian government site list as a comprehensive list – we can sort it in all the different orders available and used worldwide today - chronological, alphabetical and size-wise (biggest to smallest). Since Eid is kind of variable chronologically, we can take as the year 2007 as has been done in many countries.

Then the three sorting order will look like below:





So are the festivals listed randomly? Or does it represent the obvious open secret?
Here are some well known snippets:

Any flyover or road built is never used by the poor, so don’t build any.
Increase in GDP doesn’t help poor, so there’s no point in increasing.
CEOs of corporations shouldn’t take high salaries because 50% of Indians are poor.
Abdul Kalam can’t be the President because there are people present with equal caliber.
And I’m writing this blog, because I’m a Hindu fanatic.