Sarkars

Amitabh to Bal Thackeray: "Don't worry about Raj. Woh to bachha hai!! Woh kuch nehi kar sakta!!" (He's a kid. He can't do anything). [courtesy Selva Mani's dialog from 'Sarkar']

Incidentally I think Amitabh might be interested in another dialog of the same movie where Mani uttered in respect to Sarkar "Right or wrong kuch nehi hota hai. Jiske paas power hai uska wrong bhi right ho jata hai" (There are no Rights and Wrongs. Only Power).

Or is it Raj who is more interested in that? Or Bal Thackeray? Or Amar Singh? Or Sonia Gandhi? Or Buddhadev?
Whoever it is the looser is Me. Us. Indians. India.

Thank God we are saved

Oh I'm relieved.

I'm so relieved that I drank three dirty martinis within half an hour yesterday evening that too in a weekday evening. And I ate rest of the olives too.

I'm relieved that at last we got such a great leader to save India, Hindus and Hinduism. The leader is none other than Mrs Sonia Gandhi who is now probably sipping in a cup of Arabic coffee (or maybe Sicilian wine we don't know) after saving Ram.

No, not the crook shop-owner Ram of our Galli. No no no, its not Ram Jethmalani also who comes in the nightmares of Sagarika Ghose. I'm talking about the Lord Ram or Rama of Ramayana, the epic "Mythology" of Hinduism.

Sonia saved Him.

In the darkest hour of Hinduism, when it was reeling under immense threat of extermination, the very existence of Hindu God Himself was hanging in wire, people were gasping for breath to know whether the Lord Ram existed or not so as to decide either to die or burn, Sonia appeared like Kalki (the last Avatar of Vishnu; with the white custom made bullet-proof BMW as the vahana) and saved Him.

Thank you madam. You not only saved a country of billion helpless people, you saved their own God and restore their faith on Him.

Left (is) Right Left (is) Right Left (is) Right Left (is) Right Left (is) Right....

Ok, this is a delayed write-up on the 123 Agreement or Indo-US Nuclear deal and the supremely powerful can-never-make-mistake Left’s role playing.

For last two weeks, I was confused with the avalanche of news article in the media printing deliberately conflicting statements from giant leaders like Karat, Bardhan, Yechuri – the hardliners and Buddha, Biman and Nirupam Sen – the soft-liners. That was blasphemous to Left ideology, as done by media, to draw two separate lines for the Lefts.

I guess I was hoping someone would clarify the Left’s comprehensive view without drawing any imaginary lines; and try to counter-attack the ‘Pro-US chamchas’ who are hell bent on making India ‘a junior strategic partner into the larger US game-plan of the ‘Empire Project’.

So it has surfaced after all what I was looking. Praful Bidwai, a vehemently loyal Leftist ‘intellectual’ assured us once again that “there is no live contact between the Indian Left and the Chinese Communist Party”. Which means there might be some ‘dead’ contacts between them.

I guess by that statement he wanted to convey either of two things:

The dead contacts between the Indian Left and the Chinese Communist Party are in a way our President (whom incidentally the Left had chosen after rejecting an array of who’s who wannabe Presidents ranging from looser politicians to eminent technocrats to the most popular Indian) makes contact with her Dadaji (a dead Godman) and “Dadaji comes into her”.

Likewise Indian Left could be making contacts with dead Chinese Communist Party leaders. Whether the Chinese leaders ‘come’ into our poor Leftists, Mr. Bidwai didn’t inform us.

Or the second guess could be that there is no live contact between them like personal meeting, socializing, getting Chinese message that ends with HJ/BJ/FJ or just drinking some rice wine together, but only dead contacts like phones, emails, mails, packets of gifts or just plain green printed papers otherwise known as American dollars.

In any case, Mr. Bidwai drove home the point what our Prime Minister is trying to do:

Dr Singh continues to pay lip-service to disarmament, but he knows fully well that the deal will enable India to stockpile 1,600 kg of plutonium every year -- enough for more than 300 bombs, in addition to the existing estimated inventory of 100-150 warheads. This is a recipe for a nuclear arms race with Pakistan, and worse, China, which can only reduce the security of all three States.

Notice the word ‘worse’. The Left doesn’t want any arms race with China. They don’t want India also to be a big powerhouse because that might hamper China’s growth to be the next superpower. And here we are discussing why the Indian Communists broke away into Pro-Russia and Pro-China factions during 1962 and not into Pro-India faction. You stupid jingoistic fools – learn from Communists as to how to love your neighbor.

I didn’t read a single line from 123 Agreement nor do I foresee what significance it has on India’s future but watching Left’s stand and their ‘national concerns’, I’m more than confident that the deal is good for India.

Diamond Jubilee Celebration

"Something is better than nothing" - old adage.

"Nothing is better than Nonsense" - my friend in university.

That's what it came to my mind after seeing the column of Sagarika Ghose on CNN-IBN. I don't remember if I ever seen such a blatant communal irrational anti-analysis of a highly significant decision that is taken in favor of the nation in an unbiased and rational manner.

That the questioning of the judgment as to why only Muslims are convicted (Sanjubaba and other convicts having Sanskrit names are exempt from her analysis anyway) and arguing that the equivalent number of Hindus must also be put into jail and/or ordered to the gallows in order to make it a 'secular' decision - made me sick at the level of cheap sensationalism and propagating of dangerous ideology of the 'Indian' English secular media.


For the not so blissfully ignorants who may have doubts about her capacity or capability in analysis, just to let them know hard that Sagarika Ghose is an 'eminent journalist' with two great qualifications as the daughter of Bhaskar Ghose, former director of Doordarshan and wife of Rajdeep Sardesai, currently CEO of CNN-IBN.


Meanwhile, Arjun Singh is maintaining the premier level of Gandhigiri by getting slapped fourth time (or is it fifth time?) by the Supreme Court on Higher Education Quota. Still he said that he's not perturbed about the slapping and would go for the fifth (or sixth) time. "How interesting!!!".

Happy Independence Day!!!

Facts about India

Indian History

Indian history runs from 5000 BC - when Rama fought and defeated equally powerful Ravana and became king of Bharat aka India aka Des - till 2004 AD when India became a socialist country. In between India has been, chronologically, Ramarajya (country of absolute peace and happiness), not so happy country, divided country, medley of kingdoms, united medley of kingdoms, united to fight against each other, divided to kill each other, united kingdoms (not UK), Islamic country, Hindu-Islamic country, Islamic country, market for a British company, British colony, part of British empire, crown jewel of British empire, independent country, socialist country, non-aligned country, communist country, stooge of Soviet Russia, socialist country, capitalist country, neo-capitalist country and again socialist country.

Indian Geography

India is divided into three parts – north India, south India and northeast

North India is located egoistically and geographically in the northern side of south India. The people from this region feel vehemently proud of their lighter brown color and total control of Hindi, the national language of (north) India. The area is occupied by numerous states – some healthy, some sick, some intellectual and some ‘hap without any cause’.

South India is geographically south of north India but mentally very closer to US. This region is sub-divided into four ferociously ‘competitive’ states. Once Gulf used to be the most sought after destination for all able and unable people of this region, but for the last fifteen years that is been replaced by US.

Northeast is a collage of seven small states that nobody cares including the federal government which incidentally cares only for its re-election by any means.

Indian Economy

Economically India is the only country to have gone from economical giant to absolutely undeveloped to perpetual developing. India’s next target is to become ‘superpower’ skipping the next step of being ‘developed’.

Indian Population

Indian population is strictly divided equally on each and any issue. Public opinions do not matter at all in any decision making process, still everyone gives their opinions albeit in a junk place. Under the federal constitution all people are equal but some people are more than equal namely politicians, criminals (superset of politicians), cops, relatives of cops, smart friends of relatives of cops, celebrities and men in Delhi.

Indian Language

English is the only language for claiming respect unless one is a Tamilian. Other significant languages are used by different people according to the following table:

Hindi – spoken by Rickshaw and Taxi drivers

Bengali – spoken by Pseudo-Intellectuals

Marathi – spoken by BEST bus conductors

Kannada - spoken by people from Bangalore who don't like 'outsiders'

Tamil – spoken by proud people

Telugu – spoken by all NRIs in US (Non Resident Indians)

Indian Media

India is the land of “breaking news”. Every minute one news ‘breaks’ in different news channel. Number of news channel is more than the total number of journalists in India. But all the news channel have one thing in common apart from lack of journalists and ethics - they are all ‘secular’.

Indian Social System

Indian society is vertically divided into two key issues - People who supports Saurav Ganguly and people who hates Saurav Ganguly. In other very important issue people are divided on supporting BJP (a nationalist political party) and hating BJP. There’s no scope of middle path or indifference.

Indian Festivals: Things you didn't know

When a school-kid commented “al quedea,,,,,,,,,i mean sanjaya,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,hahahaha” in the TMZ site for the allegedly hilarious Sanjaya’s Bill Vendall spoof, I did not laugh. But a little bit scroll down and I got the most amusing and interesting comment which by the way was the reply for the above ‘supposedly’ moronic comment. Here the girl said

You're an absolute idiot. You don't (know) the difference between an Indian and an Arab.

I could care less that you're trying to rip on Sanjaya, but I'm floored that you don't know the difference between countries of origin, and ethnicities and religions/cultures.

Here's a clue: Indians -- from country of India -- are NOT Arabs and their religion is Buddhist or Christian; they are not Muslim. The country of India, and it's people, are one of the most, if not the most, peaceful country in this world; No Indian has ever been a "terrorist".

Actually she posted few more times with lot more ‘stronger’ arguments as to why Indians – whose religion are Buddhist and Christian – are not ‘terrorists”. Nice job girl!!! Any chance you live in Chicagoland?

Anyway….

Now, I was about to unlock my gun on my proud Indian shoulder to fire a hose-full black lava of venoms on American school system as to how ignorant they can be and how ill-informed the school children might be, suddenly I looked into the Indian government website (and consequently put down my gun).

There she is. I mean my India and her official website. Divided the greetings card section – only fun section for school kids obviously – into four categories – Celebrations, Heritage, Festivals and Glimpses of India. Festivals are listed top to down like this:

Christmas
Good Friday
Eid
Diwali
Holi
Durga Puja
Ram Navami
Gurpurab
Ganesh Chaturthi
Raksha Bandhan
Makar Sankranti
Buddha Purnima
Pongal
Rath Jatra

I tried - even with closing my eyes like one Mr. Gandhi told us to do; even with gulping five pegs of vodka over apple pucker and then red bull - not to read between the lines, yet my dumb eyes got stuck there.

Now to display a list of more than one entities of same kind, one has to sort it. So as is the case with Indian festivals – let’s take Indian government site list as a comprehensive list – we can sort it in all the different orders available and used worldwide today - chronological, alphabetical and size-wise (biggest to smallest). Since Eid is kind of variable chronologically, we can take as the year 2007 as has been done in many countries.

Then the three sorting order will look like below:





So are the festivals listed randomly? Or does it represent the obvious open secret?
Here are some well known snippets:

Any flyover or road built is never used by the poor, so don’t build any.
Increase in GDP doesn’t help poor, so there’s no point in increasing.
CEOs of corporations shouldn’t take high salaries because 50% of Indians are poor.
Abdul Kalam can’t be the President because there are people present with equal caliber.
And I’m writing this blog, because I’m a Hindu fanatic.